Divorced I – The Beginning.

Photo 29-06-18, 16 05 07
Lately I’ve been caught in a seemingly endless cycle of aggravate stimulation. Every other day people are either divorcing each other or ending up life in self-destruction. There is nothing nature or any other human or a drug can undo for those who are dead, but for those who are still alive and choose to stay apart from those who they loved once are the worst thing can happen to anyone. If anyone have had choose to love, what makes them to take such a harsh decision, to divorce. Love never demand any sacrifices, ego does. Many times situation does. What else can be more unnerved than a forced love and a strong memory which have collective unpleasant past stories?

Money is the powerful source of living and Love is just a part of life like rocks on the beach. Though within our society, we are conditioned to resist change and uncertainty, we are taught to sacrifice our souls through becoming enslaved to the illusion of security. We are given a constantly reminders that money is everything. It is true you need money to live because barter system is history, but it is false in some part. Because at some point money consume your soul and left you like a hungry tiger on a hunt in a jungle. Being powerful is amazing, but living in a solitude definitely will take away your soul from your body. The balance is needed!
Expectations, satisfactions, attractions, relations, relaxation, ambition. Funny thing is, all these words are ends with “tion”. Call it coincidence or I am a naive, but the truth is, these words comes under “Happiness” tag. Do you know, happiness is the sole factor which can break or make any relation in the world?! Not money. Not love. But just happiness 🙂
The typical Indian Tradition.
For the past few months, I’ve been pouring every ounce of my heart and soul on listening to the problems happening in my friends and families life. The chaos which have been pouring like a flood in a mid of summer.
From the time I was a child, I felt everything. I saw worst thing as a child which did effect my growing years but faded by the time I began to understand it was just part of childhood and the time has changed now. I tend to soak in all that surrounded me. I lost myself in the minds of others and became entangled in thoughts and emotions that did not even belong to me.
When I was 18, one of my cousin who were 23 get married and after couple of months we had a family meet and something was unsettled. I was not even care to ask what had happen but when I found my cousin sitting on the balcony busy on her phone, I reached out to her. After a good 15 minutes chit-chatting she was suddenly burst into tears. I comforts her and she said “You can choose your life partner, but not your mother-in-law. Once you are married to your partner, you kind of marry his mother too. Love them or hate them, you just cannot avoid them.” It was quite surprising for me that time but later I began to understand the Indian family typical mind-set.
An ideal Indian daughter-in-law have to think first about her in-laws and then her own parents. On top of that the mother who carried her in her womb for 9 months, who took care of her all these years teach her how to be numb and survive at her in-laws house no matter what, because it is her family now not the parents. No wonder it is 21st century and the 18th year, this stills happens.
My mom’s aunt once said, “every married girl (in India at-least) who wish to do something on her own way, she bound to seek permission from her husband and his families. If they denies, she shouldn’t dare to argue. This is the tradition.” (No wonder why she was unmarried and independent).
This is just a glimpse, in India, its cruelty to separate a married man from his parents, but it’s tradition to separate married woman from her parents. The society which talks about humanity, unity, one nation, global citizens, following latest technology still feels a woman after marriage need to look after her new family (in-laws) ‘first’ and has to leave her own family behind who were with her since birth. And why she is the only one which has to wear mangalsutra, sindhur and change her middle and last name (some has to change her first name as well). Doesn’t the married stamp should apply to man as well!?
We all have been fed the lie that to survive in this broken world one must become numb and cold. We do the exact thing our parents or our families have been teaching us all the time but the further we buried the emotions, the further we drifted from our-self. We invite all the illness from the alien world to stay in our body. The essence of our existence is fluid by nature. As humans, we are in a constant state of evolution of ever shifting, growing and becoming. We effortlessly reborn within the eternal embrace of each present moment. In the name of God, in the name of tradition, in the name of old belief, we are nothing but a slave of those evil people who have sent to the world by a Devil.
This is just a beginning.
An awaken call for me. Divorced been trending like twitter. From past 4 years, every other day I read about friends, families, famous personalities are divorcing each other. The reasons vary across the spectrum: No time to spend with family. Kid(s) are too young to understand why his/her father/mother are not taking them for holidays, because work, work and work. Finances are in disarray and the school fees is touching the mountain. He/She promised to stop working so much or to begin working to help clearing the debt or to participate in family functions (which is sometimes annoying!). Promised not to drink like a zombie (because, stress!). Some involved in gambling and end up gamble their own life. Social Media is the new virus on planet earth (thanks to technology!). Parental disappointment because their children are stop listening to them after marriage. There is no trust between the husband and wife (marriage is a partnership, without trust, it crumbles. but not only marriage, life is a trust game basically bruh!). Cheating on partner. Domestic violence. Marital rape. Forced to change the life style. And on and on and on and on…
It sounds very trivial to me when someone says he or she is getting divorced because the marriage is sexless–as if sex is the most important thing in the world and they aren’t grateful for their wonderful marriage. The reason? Well the above para will explain.
They did it!
They were scared, sad, devastated and at rock bottom and they looked in the mirror and saw the truth and persevered and followed their heart and their gut and went after the life they wanted. It takes guts to get divorced, to hear constant hate around you, to cry all night, to pick up and move, to get out of a relationship with your child’s father/mother, to become financially independent, to become a single parent, and to be without a partner. It’s brutal sometimes. The happiest of people on planet earth, the bravest soul, they did! But, this is just the beginning.
…to be continued.
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Published by

Shweta Lakhwani

Hola peeps! I am Shweta, Gen Y and a Travel Planner by profession. Sharing my world thru my Blog. I am also an Artisan and Foodstagrammer. Have a wonderful time reading my blog. xoxo

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